Where I want to be
One of my favorite songs is Donnell Jones' Where I Want To Be. It is partially because I have had a huge crush on him. And because the song came out when I was a Senior in high school and the song described how I believed my boyfriend felt. Often times in my adult life I listen to this song and relate to it as if I am the one singing it.
Tonight is one of those nights. More so the chorus than the other parts.
I miss being in relationship. I function better in relationships. I never have figured out why, but I do. I do not function well in chaos or dysfunction. At time dating can feel that way. I think the "stability" versus the "unsecured" environment. Hell I really do not know, but I do.
Right now, I am struggling a bit with developing a relationship with someone when we do not live in the same state. Because of their current schedule our communications are limited. Both of these are things I am not use to dealing with. The distance is not as big of an issues and communication at this point. Though I desire to see, touch, kiss,and more him already. So time and the development of this relationship will make that desire stronger. Which will cause the distance to become an issue as well.
I am trying to let things progress naturally. Live in the moment... not to think too far ahead... wonder about living in the same place... ect. The serial monogamous woman in me is not listening though. She wants to hold on to his leg and ask him to stay. Or scream take me with you when he leaves. She wants to talk to him daily on the phone for hours. She wants a plan of action. She wants him.
What can I say.. I am not good at dating unless I am dating several guys. If I catch feelings I stick with that one person to see where it will lead. In this situation it is harder because the interactions, dates, and more are very limited. And will be this way for at least another month. I want to see where this goes. I want to be patient and all, but it is hard. But I do not have many choices. Use patience, date others while figuring it out, or give up.
Tonight is one of those nights. More so the chorus than the other parts.
I miss being in relationship. I function better in relationships. I never have figured out why, but I do. I do not function well in chaos or dysfunction. At time dating can feel that way. I think the "stability" versus the "unsecured" environment. Hell I really do not know, but I do.
Right now, I am struggling a bit with developing a relationship with someone when we do not live in the same state. Because of their current schedule our communications are limited. Both of these are things I am not use to dealing with. The distance is not as big of an issues and communication at this point. Though I desire to see, touch, kiss,
I am trying to let things progress naturally. Live in the moment... not to think too far ahead... wonder about living in the same place... ect. The serial monogamous woman in me is not listening though. She wants to hold on to his leg and ask him to stay. Or scream take me with you when he leaves. She wants to talk to him daily on the phone for hours. She wants a plan of action. She wants him.
What can I say.. I am not good at dating unless I am dating several guys. If I catch feelings I stick with that one person to see where it will lead. In this situation it is harder because the interactions, dates, and more are very limited. And will be this way for at least another month. I want to see where this goes. I want to be patient and all, but it is hard. But I do not have many choices. Use patience, date others while figuring it out, or give up.
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