Something to think about
I had a conversation with some people at an event a few nights ago. I said something that I have said before, but this time worded it in a different way. It came out of a conversation where my new acquaintances realized I was divorced. The normal question followed... "Would you ever get married again?" I gave my normal PC answer which is "Yes, I believe in marriage and look forward to being married again." Surprisingly this comment was not followed by dumb comments or questions as usual. Sadly I normally get those type of responses from single or no where near married people. The follow up questions are normally "Wow I want to be married" or something random like that.
This time the conversation led into why my marriage was not right for me and how I made a choice to be happy than to sit in unhappiness. The conversation participants were two males and another female. We shared our experiences on the topic of knowing when to end a relationship. That is when this sentence came out of my mouth "Women fear being alone or single, while men do not fear this... which often ends up cause each sex some sort of downfall." Every single one of them agreed. I have often said and heard that women are afraid to be alone. I believe this happens to all of us at some point and time. Momentarily or for long periods of times, it happens. We seek companionship and long for it. But often when we are in a situation where we know in some shape, form, or way we do not belong there... because we are unhappy, the person is not right, it is comfortable but not love, our needs are not being met... we stay.
I notice that men do not fear being alone, they desire companionship. Companionship is a part of our natural human desires. I know several guys who have told me they do not have a problem being alone, not married or in a serious relationship, for the rest of their life. They admit they would like companionship but had excepted that it might not happen and had accepted that. I understand their logic, but do not agree. I believe that words and thoughts have power. I can not give the thought of being alone forever any power. I will not settle either though!
We have to find a median between the fear of being alone and acceptance of it. The fear of being alone can not be based on the possibility that there is not another special person out there for you. Often this is what women think when making the choice of leaving or staying in a relationship. Sometimes as women we give too much, try too hard... and sometimes men give up to fast. Other times it is reversed. I normally am on the try too long and too much side of the coin.
This time the conversation led into why my marriage was not right for me and how I made a choice to be happy than to sit in unhappiness. The conversation participants were two males and another female. We shared our experiences on the topic of knowing when to end a relationship. That is when this sentence came out of my mouth "Women fear being alone or single, while men do not fear this... which often ends up cause each sex some sort of downfall." Every single one of them agreed. I have often said and heard that women are afraid to be alone. I believe this happens to all of us at some point and time. Momentarily or for long periods of times, it happens. We seek companionship and long for it. But often when we are in a situation where we know in some shape, form, or way we do not belong there... because we are unhappy, the person is not right, it is comfortable but not love, our needs are not being met... we stay.
I notice that men do not fear being alone, they desire companionship. Companionship is a part of our natural human desires. I know several guys who have told me they do not have a problem being alone, not married or in a serious relationship, for the rest of their life. They admit they would like companionship but had excepted that it might not happen and had accepted that. I understand their logic, but do not agree. I believe that words and thoughts have power. I can not give the thought of being alone forever any power. I will not settle either though!
We have to find a median between the fear of being alone and acceptance of it. The fear of being alone can not be based on the possibility that there is not another special person out there for you. Often this is what women think when making the choice of leaving or staying in a relationship. Sometimes as women we give too much, try too hard... and sometimes men give up to fast. Other times it is reversed. I normally am on the try too long and too much side of the coin.
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