Love quote

"I am someone who is looking for love. Real love... Ridiculous... inconvenient... consuming... 'can't live without each other'... love."


One of my favorite quotes from one my favorite shows, Sex and the City. Carries says it while explaining to The Russian why their relationship was not where she belonged.


I have been feeling some type of way the last few days... It was a rough week in many ways. I decided to keep it low key for the Memorial Day holiday weekend. A little while ago I had SATC on while working on a project for class. The American Girl in Paris Part 2 came on and Carrie said the above. It really hit home for me. That's me! Where I am at right now.


After a failed marriage....
Relationship where I did not demand what I deserved....
A relationship that was comfortable but not real, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming love...
And lots of dating...


I know what I want (in general), but most importantly... I know what I do not want. And as a result, at times I have to walk away or put distance between someone I really like because they are not willing to give me what I need. I am all about compromising. Lord knows I am to a default in relationships often. I have to find the balance between my needs and compromising. 


As much as I have evolved over the last 4 to 5 years, I believe that self evolution is an continuous process. I am so to not be the person I use to be, but know that I am still a work in progress. I look at my mistakes and try to learn the lessons there. 


This weeks lesson was that compromising, well in this case more so accepting less than what I need makes me unhappy. I already knew I do not function well in unhappiness. The combo of having someone unwilling to fulfill my simple needs shows me that I have to move on. As much as it hurts, it is what I have to do to keep my happiness. I rather hurt now in "like" than later when I am in "love". Sucks because I really liked him :-( I really wish he would step up...

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