Settling versus Compromising
In a relationship, what is the different between compromising and settling?
This is a topic I have discussed many times with friends. It is interesting to hear people's opinions on it. I personally believe a person's opinion on this topic depends on where they are in life and romantic relationships.
Webster Dictionary defines compromising as: to come come to agreement by mutual concession.
Webster Dictionary defines settle as: to sink gradually. Another definition is to arrange in a desired position. To settle for means - to be content with.
Compromising appears to be better than settling. Each party involved makes a concession of some type. Most relationships are this way. We give up something to be a part of them. We get a something though. I believe that this is normal. Compromising is something needed in most aspects of life, not just romantic relationships.
Settling appears to be less than compromising. Settling is taking less than you want and not getting as much in return. Sinking. I find the definition "arrange in a desired position" very interesting. It immediately made me think of conversations I have had with people who were just happy to be in a relationship. Regardless of bad or dysfunctional they were. They were/are in their desired position, a relationship. They were able to fulfill that need.
That need for them was greater than their other desires. In come cases than their own self-esteem and self-worth. I have learned that in some cases it is greater than these things because that person has little to none of it. Other times, the person does not know what they want. They just know they have a boo. They are along for the ride.
I think compromising is important in relationships of all forms. Different list for different types of relationships. Knowing what you want and need is first priority. You must know what you have to have. What you are not willing to alter on or for. The foundation to an extent. Next you need to be aware of what's not important to you. Factors that aren't really factors. Last list is the things that are important factors, but things you are willing to make concessions on.
Let's be realistic, compromising on topics that are not important to you is not really compromising. But compromising on things that are important, but not quite priorities is compromising. I am not a fan of compromising on the priorities much though. They are priority items for a reason. Now, the list of things in priority and semi-important will change as you evolve. But do not let the other parties involved make that change happen. Make it on your won.
This is a topic I have discussed many times with friends. It is interesting to hear people's opinions on it. I personally believe a person's opinion on this topic depends on where they are in life and romantic relationships.
Webster Dictionary defines compromising as: to come come to agreement by mutual concession.
Webster Dictionary defines settle as: to sink gradually. Another definition is to arrange in a desired position. To settle for means - to be content with.
Compromising appears to be better than settling. Each party involved makes a concession of some type. Most relationships are this way. We give up something to be a part of them. We get a something though. I believe that this is normal. Compromising is something needed in most aspects of life, not just romantic relationships.
Settling appears to be less than compromising. Settling is taking less than you want and not getting as much in return. Sinking. I find the definition "arrange in a desired position" very interesting. It immediately made me think of conversations I have had with people who were just happy to be in a relationship. Regardless of bad or dysfunctional they were. They were/are in their desired position, a relationship. They were able to fulfill that need.
That need for them was greater than their other desires. In come cases than their own self-esteem and self-worth. I have learned that in some cases it is greater than these things because that person has little to none of it. Other times, the person does not know what they want. They just know they have a boo. They are along for the ride.
I think compromising is important in relationships of all forms. Different list for different types of relationships. Knowing what you want and need is first priority. You must know what you have to have. What you are not willing to alter on or for. The foundation to an extent. Next you need to be aware of what's not important to you. Factors that aren't really factors. Last list is the things that are important factors, but things you are willing to make concessions on.
Let's be realistic, compromising on topics that are not important to you is not really compromising. But compromising on things that are important, but not quite priorities is compromising. I am not a fan of compromising on the priorities much though. They are priority items for a reason. Now, the list of things in priority and semi-important will change as you evolve. But do not let the other parties involved make that change happen. Make it on your won.
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