Committing
Like Jay Z said "What the hell are you waiting for?"
Over the last two weeks I have had several conversation with friends, male and female, about when they were (for some currently) dating someone who was not willing to commit... directly or indirectly. Committing meaning see each other exclusively and be boyfriend / girlfriend. Some of them realized this because the person gave them a BS excuse or avoided the conversation all together. While others told them that they were not ready to being exclusive or (my favorite) "I am not sure if we are there yet".
Now I am the queen of not liking someone easily. I have had these conversations with guys after knowing them less than a week, on a second date, and after a few weeks. I am guilty of the BS excuses and saying that I or we were not ready for that. I can only think of one situation where I was seeing a guy for a month or more and I was not willing to commit to seeing only him. I was not willing to stop seeing other guys because I did not like him that much.
I often think that this why people chose not to commit to someone as far as dating. Marriage commitment is a whole different post! I was told by a male that more goes into it. Timing, availability, mindset, and desire. I agree with timing and desire. Though I believe that anyone who really wants to be with someone will do so! Especially a man! No man wants the women they love or like to be frolicking around with another man!
I think it's a red flag if a person you're dating is not willing to commit, especially when you are. Totally different story if you both are cool with whatever y'all have going on. Please do not get me wrong... I do not believe everything has to have titles and parameters. I just don't think anyone should keep wasting their time with someone who has not "come around".
Trust me I know the awful feeling of really liking a guy who will not commit! It really sucks! Like for real! There comes a point where you have to decide if you are going to still see them while seeing others, give up on them and move on, or just wait. I think their indecisiveness is a sign to at least see other people, but mainly move on. I will say that I think a conversation about how you are feeling is important before making a final decision for any of the options. Waiting on them or still seeing them while dating other people can have consequences. Continuing to deal with that person will allow your feelings to continue to grow for them. Like can turn into love... for you. I saw a quote that fits this. "No matter how great of a woman you are to a man, you never be good enough f he is not ready!"
Over the last two weeks I have had several conversation with friends, male and female, about when they were (for some currently) dating someone who was not willing to commit... directly or indirectly. Committing meaning see each other exclusively and be boyfriend / girlfriend. Some of them realized this because the person gave them a BS excuse or avoided the conversation all together. While others told them that they were not ready to being exclusive or (my favorite) "I am not sure if we are there yet".
Now I am the queen of not liking someone easily. I have had these conversations with guys after knowing them less than a week, on a second date, and after a few weeks. I am guilty of the BS excuses and saying that I or we were not ready for that. I can only think of one situation where I was seeing a guy for a month or more and I was not willing to commit to seeing only him. I was not willing to stop seeing other guys because I did not like him that much.
I often think that this why people chose not to commit to someone as far as dating. Marriage commitment is a whole different post! I was told by a male that more goes into it. Timing, availability, mindset, and desire. I agree with timing and desire. Though I believe that anyone who really wants to be with someone will do so! Especially a man! No man wants the women they love or like to be frolicking around with another man!
I think it's a red flag if a person you're dating is not willing to commit, especially when you are. Totally different story if you both are cool with whatever y'all have going on. Please do not get me wrong... I do not believe everything has to have titles and parameters. I just don't think anyone should keep wasting their time with someone who has not "come around".
Trust me I know the awful feeling of really liking a guy who will not commit! It really sucks! Like for real! There comes a point where you have to decide if you are going to still see them while seeing others, give up on them and move on, or just wait. I think their indecisiveness is a sign to at least see other people, but mainly move on. I will say that I think a conversation about how you are feeling is important before making a final decision for any of the options. Waiting on them or still seeing them while dating other people can have consequences. Continuing to deal with that person will allow your feelings to continue to grow for them. Like can turn into love... for you. I saw a quote that fits this. "No matter how great of a woman you are to a man, you never be good enough f he is not ready!"
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