Knowing what you want

Over the years I have realized that the hardest part of knowing what you want is the fact that you know what you want! The desire for it is so strong that things that are half of it or supplements of it are not enough.

That's how I feel about relationships right now. I know what I want and that's what I want! Point blank period. No exceptions. I am not looking for casual dating, booty partners, confused grown ass men, none of that. I want to date for a reasonable amount of time and then become exclusive aka boyfriend and girlfriend. Then see where things go from there.

I tell every guy who tries to talk to me that I am looking for a long term relationship. I notice that a lot of guys want to causally date or play the text message game. I don't have time or the desire for either. I actually really dislike dating. I am the type of woman who prefers relationships... let me clarify monogamous relationships. Once I've gotten to know a guy for a while and know I like him I want to see where that can go without any distractions aka other daters involved.

After getting to know a guy for 6 months and knowing for about 2 months that I want to exclusively see him. I noticed that he's into more casual relationships. Something that was a concern of mine when I first met him. When I asked him about his "traits and habits" that were opposite of his words (looking for a long term relationship and mate to have kids with) he assured me that his goals matched his words. Now I am pretty sure they don't. And at this point as much as I like him, I have no interest in seeing him anymore. Because I know what I want. Especially from someone who admittedly likes me as much as I like them.

I think this is simply a case of he's not ready or is scared. Which is fine... well it sucks big fat hairy monkey balls... but it is ok. Because I know what I want and I am not willing to compromise on that just to keep a man half way in my life. I'll save my compromising for a man who wants to be exclusive with me and work toward the goals of a healthy relationship and marriage.

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