Happiness & Love

2012 was a major roller coaster ride for me, but is ending on a high note Thank God!  In January my mother was in a bad car accident, she blacked out while driving. I had a great '82 Baby (30th birthday) vacation with my friends from college. I dealt with various lows and struggles personally. I evolved in many ways. Carlton's death in July. I had a great solo vacation at the beach. Car issues. I completed my Master's degree and received a job offer from a Fortune 500 company!  As 2012 draws to a close, I created my vision board for 2013.  I normally just write my goals down at the beginning of the year. 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years. This year I was invited to a Vision Board party and really enjoyed creating one. "A vision board is a simple yet powerful visualization tool that activates the universal law of attraction to begin manifesting your dreams into reality." I love this idea and will do it yearly. Yesterday I had my daughter and ...

God use me... Use this life you gave me... I do not know what the future holds for me... But I know that there is a vision for my life... That is greater than my imagination can hold! I thank you in advance!

I woke up this morning wrapping my head around the fact that I was going to walk across the stage later this evening to receive my Master's degree. As excited as I am to complete the course work for this degree a piece of me was sad. This month my friend and father of my child would of graduated with a MBA and JD. We talked about how we did not plan to walk at graduation and rather relax after our hard work. After his death in July, I decided I would walk in my graduation. Partly to honor him, but also for our child to see. A few days ago his mother received both of his degrees in the mail from his school. It was a very touching moment. To see his hard work to pay off. To see what he worked hard for right there, but he is not here. Why... we will never know. It is kinda like the hard work pushed him to a point where he felt he could not handle any more. Or maybe the thought of succeeding in the next step in life was overwhelming. Either way he chose to end his life. And I know th...

I have been told by all my exes but the latest (maybe he will say it one day too) that I am the one that got away. I am not sure what that truly means other than they didn't appreciate and cherish me when they had me. Hell I even have my high school boy friend... yes 12+ years ago love... asking for another chance. I noticed that as the months and years go by not only do I change but what I desire, accept, and dislike changes. So for most of my exes a second chance is not even an option. But recently I find myself wondering if a certain ex and I can have restored love. Due to events in both of our lives in the last year our friendship has grown lately (yup, I have no problem being friends with exes). The sad part about this thought process is what caused us to stop being together in the first place. I am not sure if that is something to look past. It was so long ago.  It does not hurt or anything when I think about it, but the stuff happened. Deception, lies, and so much more. ...

"Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve" - Single Ladies by Beyonce "Many days I've longed for... Wanting you... Hoping for the chance to get to know you... For your touch, your feel, your essence." - LOVE by Musiq

We all have had someone in our lives that makes our heart skip a beat... gives you butterflies... and makes you feel giddy like a kid again. I have someone in my life that does all of those. The issue is our lives. Between living in different states, jobs, family, and more we are limited in seeing each other in person much.  Since I am single (and he is too), I still date and get to know men. But can not lie... my heart wants to be with him. I am a big believer in God. I pray daily that he guides my steps and all my relationships. I pray for guidance in what to do as far as that connection. He could be the one. He could be in my life for a season to teach or show me something. Who knows! I'm just enjoying that giddy feeling when I see his name come across my phone and the joy in my heart when we speak.

I was looking for something in my email tonight and came across an old email I sent to myself. I am not sure if I used this in a blog or just emailed it to friends. Either way the words hit home for me again to day. Here's the email sent on 4/13/09 : I woke up Easter morning to the sound Joel Osteen's church service.  What he said really hit home for me, so I wanted to share with you! "  The only difference between being buried and being planted is the expectancy of what is going to happen next."      We all have situations we face that seem like they could bury us: the loss of a loved one, bad news concerning our health, a layoff, a divorce. The only difference between being buried and being planted is the expectancy of what is going to happen next. When something is buried, it's not coming back. But when something is planted, like a seed, it always comes back, producing more than what it originally was when it went into ground.   ...