Happiness & Love

We all have had someone in our lives that makes our heart skip a beat... gives you butterflies... and makes you feel giddy like a kid again. I have someone in my life that does all of those. The issue is our lives. Between living in different states, jobs, family, and more we are limited in seeing each other in person much.  Since I am single (and he is too), I still date and get to know men. But can not lie... my heart wants to be with him. I am a big believer in God. I pray daily that he guides my steps and all my relationships. I pray for guidance in what to do as far as that connection. He could be the one. He could be in my life for a season to teach or show me something. Who knows! I'm just enjoying that giddy feeling when I see his name come across my phone and the joy in my heart when we speak.

I was looking for something in my email tonight and came across an old email I sent to myself. I am not sure if I used this in a blog or just emailed it to friends. Either way the words hit home for me again to day. Here's the email sent on 4/13/09 : I woke up Easter morning to the sound Joel Osteen's church service.  What he said really hit home for me, so I wanted to share with you! "  The only difference between being buried and being planted is the expectancy of what is going to happen next."      We all have situations we face that seem like they could bury us: the loss of a loved one, bad news concerning our health, a layoff, a divorce. The only difference between being buried and being planted is the expectancy of what is going to happen next. When something is buried, it's not coming back. But when something is planted, like a seed, it always comes back, producing more than what it originally was when it went into ground.   ...

Like Jay Z said "What the hell are you waiting for?" Over the last two weeks I have had several conversation with friends, male and female, about when they were (for some currently) dating someone who was not willing to commit... directly or indirectly. Committing meaning see each other exclusively and be boyfriend / girlfriend. Some of them realized this because the person gave them a BS excuse or avoided the conversation all together. While others told them that they were not ready to being exclusive or (my favorite) "I am not sure if we are there yet". Now I am the queen of not liking someone easily. I have had these conversations with guys after knowing them less than a week, on a second date, and after a few weeks. I am guilty of the BS excuses and saying that I or we were not ready for that. I can only think of one situation where I was seeing a guy for a month or more and I was not willing to commit to seeing only him. I was not willing to stop seeing oth...

The word strong... strength... are words I have heard most of my adult life as a description of myself. I remember the first time that I actually thought about this characteristic in dept. I was in the process of moving from Durham to Atlanta in early 2006. I graduated from undergrad a few months before and had decided it was time to move back to my hometown. A close male friend, who is also my daughter's Godfather, told me he knew I would be fine because "you are a strong person." I remember thinking about his words later that day. I wondered why he considered me a strong person and what made me one.  I realized that I did not consider myself strong... or even weak. I just did what I had to do. Last year I had a similar conversation with this same friend. This time I asked him why he felt this way. He spoke of times when I stepped up because I had to for myself or my child, but also time that I did this for friends. This conversation changed my view of the word. Over ...

Over the years I have realized that the hardest part of knowing what you want is the fact that you know what you want! The desire for it is so strong that things that are half of it or supplements of it are not enough. That's how I feel about relationships right now. I know what I want and that's what I want! Point blank period. No exceptions. I am not looking for casual dating, booty partners, confused grown ass men, none of that. I want to date for a reasonable amount of time and then become exclusive aka boyfriend and girlfriend. Then see where things go from there. I tell every guy who tries to talk to me that I am looking for a long term relationship. I notice that a lot of guys want to causally date or play the text message game. I don't have time or the desire for either. I actually really dislike dating. I am the type of woman who prefers relationships... let me clarify monogamous relationships. Once I've gotten to know a guy for a while and know I like him ...

"Dating more than anything is about compatibility. If your man is not compatible on basic levels: values, class, intelligence or common interests, the relationship won’t last. When you are dating someone you are compatible with there shouldn’t be a need to essentially change him through an upgrading process." From  Bene Viera said it best when she wrote the article, ‘ Is He Worth Upgrading ’:

Sometimes I say or type something before fully realizing how I feel. Today I told a friend how I am ready to remarry and want stability. Part of this is because of the recent events that have shifted my life off it's axis. The other part is because I am a serial monogamous. I put a lot into my relationships. It is frustrating to try to reduce this in the dating world. Even more frustrating to see how hard it is to just have a regular boyfriend - girlfriend relationship now a days. I have been doing so soul searching. Trying to decide how to deal with a fellow I like. Not sure how long I am willing to casually date him. I have known him 5 months. The last month or so the relationship has gotten more serious but he has not had the classic exclusive conversation. Which frustrates me because men try to have this with me on a second date! Meanwhile I have mentioned how he has not done this, in not so direct words, and still nothing. To me that means you do not want me in that way. So...